arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
I checked into jail on foursquare
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
