There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
