He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
