Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
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