the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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