I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Randomize
