Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
