I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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