i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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