another moral hangover. fuck.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
