the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Sext me about skeletons
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
