No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Randomize
