what if every blade of grass was a penis?
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
