hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
