go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
either way he was missing a nipple.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
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