Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
Randomize
