I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Randomize
