Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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