yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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