Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
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