big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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