I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
