I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize
