batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
That's how pantless uber rides happen
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
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