i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
You made out with two different species that night
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
