I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
