why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
