I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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