She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
