he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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