I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
