After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
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