It's Friday. Sex?
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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