How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
