I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Randomize