well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
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