need another drink. this is the easiest way
I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Randomize
