Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
