This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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