wakey wakey hands off snakey
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
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