it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
