In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
it was like having sex with a tree stump
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
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