someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
The convent might be a nice break from real life
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
