I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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