I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Randomize
