I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Randomize
