But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
