I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
a search helicopter?!
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
