Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
