I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
