Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
