We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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