how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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