Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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